The Work Is Not Finished
As parents, we often function best by believing in a set of comforting, if unrealistic, ideals. That our kids will have lots of friends. Succeed in school. Excel in their passions. That no one will pick on them or make them feel small. That everyone will be accepted for who they are.
In some ways, the world has come a long way. We’ve made advances in healthcare. We can legally marry the person we love. And Leaf fans, somehow, still believe this might be the year.
But in other ways, we’re spinning our wheels. The recommendations of the Truth and Reconciliation Commission remain largely unfulfilled. Access to mental health care continues to fall short.
This week reminded me—forcefully—that our work as parents and community members is far from over. At lunch downtown, I waited patiently for a parking spot, signal on, only for an elderly man to step into it and “save” it for his friend. The next morning, I was aggressively tailgated for two kilometres in a 40-zone on the way to school.
At a Halloween employment workshop I helped facilitate, a participant loudly shared transphobic comments in front of transgender peers. That night, while trick-or-treating, a dad used a racist simile to describe his child—in front of someone of that race. Later, during post-trick-or-treating wine and candy-sorting, a neighbour launched into an anti-Indigenous rant while an Indigenous dad sat quietly in the same room.
These are not isolated moments. Every day, adults in London—educated, successful, “respectable” adults—say and do things that would have been shocking even a decade ago. I work in social services and live in a great neighbourhood. Yet ignorance is alive and well here, too.
The truth is simple: the work is not finished. We do not yet live in a society built on basic respect and acceptance. Pretending otherwise is a disservice—to yourself, to your neighbours and to your children, who deserve the best role models possible. They are watching, learning and preparing to build the Canada we keep telling ourselves already exists.
Jeremy McCall is a married father of 3, a social services case manager, and known as “The Dadfather”, being the founder and Past President of Dad Club London.
