The Science Behind a Tantrum
Have you ever wondered about the science behind a tantrum? It’s easy to understand AND then easy to minimize by understanding “The Window of Tolerance.”
What is The Window of Tolerance?
This concept was developed by Dr. Dan Siegel to describe the ideal zone of “arousal” for a child or adult to function in everyday life. When they are within this zone, they can manage and cope with their emotions, small and big. They are fed, have good sleep, a stable home environment and are healthy. They can easily cope with life stressors, one missed nap, or one big blow out with siblings. But when the stressors continue to occur day after day, we leave the widow of tolerance and move to either hyperarousal or hypoarousal.
What is Hyperarousal?
Hyperarousal is a heightened state of activity and energy driven by a release of stress hormones (adrenaline, noradrenaline and cortisol). The nervous system is kicked into high alert even if danger is not present. The result is fight, flight or freeze, which then causes angry outbursts, fear, anxiety, overwhelm of emotions, panic, hypervigilance and tight muscles, also known as the tantrum.
What is Hypoarousal?
Hypoarousal is when a child or adult feels threatened, recounting a traumatic memory. When this occurs, a child or adult feels low, with a blank stare and inability to speak. This affects sleep and eating habits, causes withdrawal from peers, and difficulty expressing themselves.
How to Get Back Into the Window of Tolerance?
When we are calm, we can co-regulate the emotions of our child. Connect with physical touch. Hug/hold them tightly and consider:
- Grounding Exercises like 5-4-3-2-1 – Ask your child to identify 5 things they see, 4 things they can touch, 3 things they can hear, 2 things they can smell and 1 they can taste.
- Sensory Regulation for Hyperarousal – Ask your child to scream into a pillow, jump up and down, or dance to release the energy created by stress hormone release.
- Breathing Exercises like Belly Breathing – Ask your child to breath in and out by raising their belly like a balloon.
Tantrums are a result of a dysregulated nervous system, normal and difficult at times, but also manageable with the above techniques.
Becky Morrison is a Nurse Practitioner based out of Calgary who has specialized in mental health for over a decade. She is finally, after years of infertility, a mother of two busy little boys, and doting fur mom of her gentle giant, Stella. She is, and always will be, a strong advocate for mental wellness at all ages.
