Teaching Our Kids to Be a Good Friend, Even When It’s Hard

My childhood was one ongoing lesson from ABC, the WB or TBS. My earliest understanding of friendship came from Bart Simpson manipulating Milhouse into helping him buy Radioactive Man Issue #1. Emotional intelligence and boundaries were not taught by my parents.

High school friendship lessons involved Zack and Slater competing for girls, or Dawson and Joey endlessly circling the truth that he was madly in love with her, all while maintaining truly elite 90s hair.

Sports were my ultimate tutor. Real friendships formed on cramped road trips to tournaments, wedged into the back of a Chevy Astro Van, sharing Game Boy and Panasonic Shockwave CD players while learning about teamwork, competition and forgiveness.

With 2026’s fifteen-second attention spans and network TV replaced by TikTok and YouTube Shorts, our kids don’t get the same slow-burn social lessons. No more Saturday mornings running downstairs, pouring a bowl of Trix, and immersing yourself in Hollywood’s class trips to Hawaii. On behalf of our kids, we have to step up.

Kids model what they see. If you’d prefer they don’t believe friendship looks like handing out briefcases of cash to strangers like Mr. Beast does, then become their Mr. Feeney. Teach your kids to “go first.” At the playground, encourage them to introduce themselves to the kid playing alone. In school, be mindful with birthday invitations, either invite the whole class or hand them out outside school hours. Exclusion hurts.

Build relationships with other parents. Invite families over. Once someone confirms you’re not running a Breaking Bad-style RV operation in the driveway, they’re usually thrilled to drop off and enjoy a few unencumbered hours.

Teach forgiveness. Friends will mess up. Feelings will get hurt. Toys will break. Learning to own mistakes and forgive others is how kids build friendships that last. Friendships will come in seasons. What will last is helping our kids become adaptable, confident and kind – able to walk into unfamiliar spaces and form genuine connections.

No one is born knowing how to do this. It’s our job to teach them, even when it’s hard, and Zack Morris isn’t around to pause time and explain his newest zany hijinks.

 

Jeremy McCall is a married father of 3, a social services case manager, and known as “The Dadfather”, being the founder and Past President of Dad Club London.