Emotional Agility In Midlife

I have been doing presentations to corporations to educate employees and management about menopause. One of the most talked about topics is the huge impact perimenopause and menopause has on emotions. Every woman that speaks about her emotions expresses that her feelings are bigger, more turbulent and feel at times like a roller coaster. 

Now, part of this can be due to hormones. But what I believe to be the bigger part of it is that women in midlife really have less emotional bandwidth to deal with other people’s underfunctioning, weaponized helplessness and inability to regulate their own emotions. 

Women that are now in midlife are tired. I mean really tired. We are the generation that was told, “You can have it all and still be the selfless wife and mother!” Women need to understand that being selfless is not healthy. Being less of yourself is not a goal, and in fact, it will cause you to feel really resentful, burnt out and yearning for more. This is where emotional agility comes in. Emotional agility is the ability to productively and flexibly navigate your emotions rather than being controlled by them. It means we are accepting of all of our emotions, even the negative ones, while we remain grounded in our values. It means not taking on the feelings of others and trying to solve their issues for them in order to feel more comfortable ourselves. 

If you are burnt out in a selfless role, you need boundaries that align with your values. You need to have a healthy relationship with your emotions, and that starts with being full of what you need for yourself first. 

Reach out to me at kilty67@sympatico.ca or Make The Change Menopause Coaching on Facebook and Instagram if you want help with improving your emotional agility.

 

Carol Peat is a woman's health advocate, Mum of three, wife to one, Nana of two and dog Mum to Piper, a golden retriever. She is passionate about you feeling your best, brave in your body.