Fathers: The Silenced Heroes

Imagine one day you come home from a busy day at work. You’re tired (your youngest was up all night with nightmares and thus in and out of your bed), you have deadlines overdo at work, and the evening requirements of sports teams and playdates have not even begun. You get home through the same heavy traffic to find your beloved family dog, the constant companion of your children, has died. Imagine having to suppress your emotions and grief to console your children and your partner as they grieve this immense loss openly without shame or stigma, while you must be strong, as that is what fathers are supposed to do. You endure all that the world throws at you and in turn you must suppress how you feel about it. 

As a mother who can freely express my emotions, cry openly, and grieve a loss, I could not imagine how difficult life would be if I was not allowed to feel and grieve. Fathers are truly the silenced heroes within the family unit. For centuries, little boys have been told to “stop crying and suck it up” and suppress those natural emotions as per societal and cultural views. So these little boys bury the tears and emotions and turn into men and fathers. We now know that suppression of emotions is detrimental to their mental and physical health, as well as the health of the family unit.  With time, through change in societal and cultural views, and the right mental health supports, we can unsilence the little boys and men so that they are free of stigma and shame when openly expressing their emotions. 

To all those wonderful fathers out there:

Thank you for comforting us first before yourself. 

Thank you for letting us fall, picking us up and encouraging us to do it again when your instinct was to stop and protect.

Thank you for letting us make mistakes and finding our own way.

Thank you dads!

 

Becky Morrison is a Nurse Practitioner based out of Calgary who has specialized in mental health for over a decade. She is finally, after years of infertility, a mother of two busy little boys, and doting fur mom of her gentle giant, Stella. She is, and always will be, a strong advocate for mental wellness at all ages.