The Gift of Personal Space

“If you do not stop, pause and create space, you will not become the version of yourself you have been desiring to become.”, my heart whispered after an evening meditation in front of my bedroom mirror. I opened my eyes, and truly saw myself for the first time, in a very long while. Sitting there. In silence. Large tear drops running down my cheeks. 

I’d uncovered that over the years, I had a tendency to avoid the deep inner yearning of personal space, reprieve and softness within myself, by leveraging external coping mechanisms that filled the parts that didn’t know how to stop, be still, and slow down in life, or truly feel at peace with my single mama lifestyle. I had reached for marijuana, alcohol, work, snack foods and dating sites to numb the feelings of daily freneticism that had been habitually building in momentum for years. I had tried to blame the doubling of work load around the house as a single mom “who does not have the time to heal”, however I knew that wasn’t true. I had not created space to alchemize the pattern of “addictive reaching” because I’d been afraid to let go and find out what was burrowed within me. 

However, after that evening in meditation I asked myself “what if?” What if I learned how to overcome my addictions? What if I set boundaries to give myself time for the inner work? What if I did things differently and allowed myself to go through it, rather than bypass, avoid and repress the very parts within that needed my support? What if, I said yes to myself first, and just took a step towards me? 

Healing is a process that requires gentleness and kindness. It is a commitment, devotion and unwavering acceptance of where you are presently as you move deeper into where you are going. You transcend old patterns that no longer serve you and rather show up for yourself in new ways that do. And, as you promise yourself, you receive the very gift of your own pause, of unconditional love and space.

 

 

Lyndsay Campbell is a co-parenting mother of two boys, a Life Transformation Coach and
Reiki Master.