The Love of Parenting

When it comes to parenting, there is no greater reward than the love we give and receive from our children, watching them grow into good people. I remember the first time I watched my son split his coveted chocolate cookie into two and offered half to his buddy at school. Watching him be compassionate to another child was so heartfelt and a staunch reminder that how I parent directly shapes who he will become. 

We are all very aware that it is difficult to parent children in this era. From our work demands to everyday stressors to “keeping up with the Jetson’s”, it seems impossible to parent “the right way”.  Throughout the decades, there have been various styles of parenting from:

Neglectful – 1930s to 1960s, which consisted of:

• Cold parents
• No rules
• Unresponsive, uninvolved, indifferent
• Keep in mind this was during war time around the world

Authoritarian – 1960s – 1970s, which comprised of:

• Unresponsive and lacking emotional warmth
• Strict rules and high expectations
• Expecting blind obedience 

Permissive – 1980s -1990s, which consisted of: 

• Being warm and responsive
• Having few rules and being more of a friend than a parent
• Indulgent and lenient

Authoritative – 2000s to current, which is a blend of all types of parenting:

• Responsive, supportive and warm
• High expectations and clear rules
• Values independence 

The important thing to keep in mind about which parental style you use to raise your child is the outcome, the person they will become. For example, if we use the permissive style of parenting, most children have impulsive behavior, poorer social skills, problematic relationships and are egocentric. When we explore the effects of an authoritarian style of parenting, most children experience lower academic performance, low self-esteem, poorer social skills and an increase in mental illness, drug use and delinquency.

When we look at the children that were raised in an authoritative parenting style, they have the best outcomes – higher academic performance, higher self-esteem, better social skills, lower incidence of mental illness and lower delinquency. When we take the best parts of each parenting style, Authoritative Parenting, we teach the tools our children need not only to survive but thrive in this world. 

 

Becky Morrison is a Nurse Practitioner based out of Calgary who has specialized in mental health for over a decade. She is finally, after years of infertility, a mother of two busy little boys, and doting fur mom of her gentle giant, Stella. She is, and always will be, a strong advocate for mental wellness at all ages.