Am I a Good Mom?
Hands up: how many moms out there feel like it’s just impossible to be a good mom these days? The constant demands of work, home, being a 24/7 taxi driver and all the activities that our kids are in is impossible for any mom to complete day in and day out. Women are expected to work like they don’t have children and then raise children as if they don’t work. The result of this impossible standard and societal view is this nagging negative thought: I am not a good mom.
This thought then directly negatively affects our emotions. We start to feel overwhelmed, low and sad. Our self-esteem decreases and we start to question our sense of self. Once we have these negative thoughts and emotions, it negatively affects our physical health and then our general well-being.
Now if we were to challenge this thought and do some cognitive reframing, can we make a positive change to the way we feel mentally and physically? Let’s give it a try; what do you have to lose?
What proof do you have that you aren’t a good mom, or in fact a great mom? Do you provide love, safety, food and shelter to your children? If the answer is yes, then you ARE a great mom. Buying them the newest toy or bringing your child to every activity and event is not a need for a child to be happy.
What proof do you have that other moms easily and happily live up to this impossible standard without an entire village to help them? You likely don’t, and that’s another example of how negative thoughts are based on feelings, not evidence. Once you challenge negative thoughts like “I’m a bad mom” with evidence, you can change your thinking to “I am a good mom”. As a result, your feelings about yourself become more positive and your physical health can improve.
Sending love to all the moms out there. You are the unsung heroes of the world, so be kind to yourself.
Becky Morrison is a Nurse Practitioner based out of Calgary who has specialized in mental health for over a decade. She is finally, after years of infertility, a mother of two busy little boys, and doting fur mom of her gentle giant, Stella. She is, and always will be, a strong advocate for mental wellness at all ages.
