Change Me First

I am very fortunate that both of my grown children, ages 31 (Rémy), and 21 (Lilie), call me their best friend. This fills my heart with joy and thankfulness! But how did that happen? Was it just luck, easy street, lack of trials? Nope!

My kids will be the first to tell you our lives have been a test of perseverance, adaptability, and resilience, yet very meaningful. I worked on MY deficiencies, and nurtured their respect, appreciation and unconditional love. 

 

Consider these 5 things to help build closeness with your kids: 

1. Quality time with kids = love to them. No amount of material wealth will surpass this. 
2. Have their backs (not to be confused with helicopter parenting or unaccountability)! No matter what, don’t shame them. Work out the solution together. Allow consequences, with compassion.
3. Apologize. Take responsibility when you mess up. They will respect you more, trust me, and will follow suit. 
4. Have courage to ask what they HONESTLY think of you as a parent. Don’t rebut or be defensive. Say thank you. Take a deep breath and allow their truth to settle in.
5. Communicate what they do well when they are doing it. Don’t be the negative voice living in their head! 

 

Remember, you need to do the work FIRST if you want them to! The rewards are staggering. 

Being a parent is such a gift, but also complex. Change me first. Change my heart. Give me humility to go first. Please allow the work to begin today. Amen. 

 

Marcy Demelo is an Entrepreneur, Career Coach and Educator, teaching you how to reinvent yourself to live out your passion. Find her on Instagram at waymaker_inc and at www.waymakerinc.ca.