The Longlasting Effects of Bullying

One of the most frustrating things about trauma is when you’ve done the work to deal with it, at the drop of a hat, the paralyzing emotions attached to the trauma can reappear.

And although nearly 30 years have passed since I was last bullied, the sting doesn’t lessen, when something new triggers that trauma to arise from deep within my soul. I’ve spent unfathomable hours in therapy over the years, each time learning new techniques to manage my responses.

As a child, I was the perfect target for schoolyard bullying. Red hair, Coke-bottle glasses with a patch, freckles, overweight, and a little bit socially awkward because of the lack of friends and genuine social interaction.

I don’t have many happy memories as a child. I was too absorbed with trying to secretly process the gaslighting, manipulation, and alienation I was experiencing daily for six years to be happy. I was severely depressed, too ashamed to ask my parents for help, and felt truly alone.

Recently, I experienced the most alienating experience of my adult life. I will spare you the details, but it was sickening to my mind, body, and soul. As a victim of bullying and a mother, I’m overly sensitive to my daughter’s own social experiences.

The impact of bullying on mental health

As an empath, I am acutely aware of her emotions. I often struggle with whether I’m guiding her correctly through these situations. As a victim, I have to consciously check myself to ensure that I’m not over-reacting, raising unneeded alarms for her, or interfering with valuable life experiences. It’s that balance, which is the greatest struggle. I relish the lessons I learn from these triggers. Here’s one I would like to share.

As the stigma attached to mental health is shifting, consider what it truly means when you drive around with a bumper sticker or share a post supporting mental health awareness. It isn’t sincere if you’re not going to walk the walk. Consider how your actions are impacting the people around you.

Flip your seat – how would you feel if you were the other person?
And then revert to the Golden Rule.