Entry #7: A Broken Cup Can’t Pour Water into Another Broken Cup

What do you think this quote means? Having a combo of undiagnosed Bipolar, ADHD and PTSD, the world rejected me in every stage of my life. Even into my early 40s, to say that I felt awkward interacting socially, puts it mildly. As I write this (age 49), I’m the happiest that I have been in my entire life. I’m so excited about what the next 50 years will bring. So, what changed? I learned that I am an addict. This addiction ruined my life. You better sit down. This isn’t easy to come to terms with. Hint? You can’t give what you don’t have. Let me explain.

As a Social Service Worker, I learned in school about all forms of abuse. However, when you don’t love yourself, you’re desperate to be loved at any cost. “Hi. I’m Stephanie. I am a codependent in recovery. I am addicted to being needed and fixing people.” Most of these people don’t even ask for my help. I used to insert myself into their lives. The addiction medicates me by keeping myself so busy fixing others, I can completely ignore fixing me. The high I get from helping people also validates my existence. It’s a temporary fix which is NO different to taking a hit of crack to numb out the pain. If reading this makes you angry because you do what I am still capable of (if I don’t check my motives for helping), it might be a sign that you are also a codependent. Sorry, not sorry.

If you know me in real life, you know that I shoot straight. Are you ready to stop being used, stop burning out, or to understand why you’re on your second divorce with an abusive partner? I bet on my first born that your life can change overnight! How do you become a codependent-in-recovery and create the life of your dreams? You’ll have to wait. What? I thought that this was enough to digest. To be continued, my sophisticated readers!

 

Stephanie Preston creates powerful, humorous videos on managing bipolar disorder symptoms. She is a Social Service Worker, Health Care Aide and suffers from severe bipolar depression herself. She is the proud wife of St. Thomas Mayor Joe Preston, loves being a grandma and is Crossfit obsessed. Follow her at www.tiktok.com/@bipolaronthebrain and www.facebook.com/bipolaronthebrain.