It’s Okay to Need Help

As someone who can’t draw, dance or sing, and looks like a WWE wrestler, it’s hard to find ways to express myself emotionally. Writing works for me. I have “become a better, more disciplined writer” on my to-do list. It’s right between “figuring out how to stop my kids from losing their gloves” and “turning all of our taps from water to fruit punch when my wife is at work”.  For now, what you see is what you get.

As I sit in the waiting room of my kids’ therapist, looking at an “all feelings are okay” sign, I feel like the fact that I have yet to receive hate mail in response to my thirteen previous submissions to this fabulous magazine makes it okay for me to be vulnerable. It’s okay to need help—for you, your partner, and your kids. It doesn’t make you a failure or weak. I’m going to the gym next and will STILL put up numbers.

I’ve had a lot of stress at work this week. Proactively reaching out to my wife and trusted friends, and confiding in them about this, didn’t make me a worse supervisor or employee; it helped. I went to see my therapist for our weekly session. I also saw my physiotherapist and got dry needling done (I think it’s the scientific version of acupuncture). I feel better, physically and mentally. This allows me to be a better dad and husband. 

Telling people who care that I’ve had a hard time brought them closer to me. Doing things for my body this week helped my mind calm down. My kids have been through a lot in the five years since COVID-19, and grades four and six are complex. I can help them, but a therapist who specializes in kids can, too. 

Letting people in, letting them help you, and putting yourself first doesn’t make you weak. It enables you to thrive in this crazy world we call parenthood. People will appreciate and respect you more for being vulnerable enough to do it. It’ll be okay.

 

Jeremy McCall is a married father of 3, a social services case manager, and known as “The Dadfather”, being the founder and Past President of Dad Club London.