Lessons From My Father
My dad would’ve been 73 this month. He didn’t take care of his health and sadly left us back in 2016.
My dad was a good person. But he wasn’t a good dad. Read that again as a parent. It’s a reality, and a lesson from which I learned.
My dad had the Baby Boomer upbringing. His dad and uncles were decorated World War II fighter pilots from Oxford County. Their ways of dealing with the trauma and tragedy they experienced were to not deal with them, and for their kids to suffer the consequences.
My dad drank heavily, smoked more, and watched nonstop TV. He struggled to relate to others on a personal level, and to maintain relationships. Now we call it “depression”. He left the workforce at 45, so I had a single parent on disability. We struggled.
He still taught me a lot. He taught me the true value of giving and of gratitude. He gave often and selflessly to those in need, telling me “I have everything I need, so why wouldn’t I share my abundance with others who don’t?” I won awards for living this lesson, and my kids will too.
My dad taught me to stick up for others. He was a 6’5” broad-shouldered mustachioed Mountie until his health took his career from him. I still saw him thwart an armed robbery empty-handed, and get into a fist fight as a football coach with a dad who was getting physical with their own kid after a tough game. If people abuse others, I intervene too.
Lastly, my dad taught me to never leave anything unsaid. I never heard my dad say the words “I love you” or “I am proud of you”. I knew he felt it, but I never heard it. He died with his Western Mustang Athlete Parent parking pass in his wallet ten years after I graduated though. My kids hear how much I love them and how proud I am of them every day, and respond with eye rolls and “we know, daddy”. Because they won’t have to assume.
Happy birthday, Pops.
Jeremy McCall is a married father of 3, a social services case manager, and known as “The Dadfather”, being the founder and Past President of Dad Club London.
