No Reward Chores?

The shift from Latchkey kids to Child-Centered Families was a natural swing. As a Latchkey kid, having my parents focus on work and less involved in me, directly affected how I parent my children. I put my children’s needs first, but in doing that, an important learning was lost. Children lose motivation for responsibility as they feel exempt from helping and contributing to the household.  Once they are tweens and we demand them to contribute to the household, we hit big resistance. If we shift a little from child-centered to family-centered, we find the balance, as family-centered is not doing everything for the child when they can do several things for themselves as early as 18 months. Why do we do this?

Well, if you’re like my family, we are always in a rush. A rush to get home from work, have dinner, then rushing off to sports. It is easier and quicker if we do things for our children but that does not benefit the whole family down the road. 

There are SO Many Benefits for Kids Doing Chores WITHOUT Rewards

• Teaches life skills
• Helps kids learn responsibilities – ultimately, we want the child involved in how the home runs
• Teaches teamwork
• Fosters a sense of belonging in the family – it’s OUR  job to help each other take care of the home, if we start from a “we” place, there is less resistance from kids because it gives them value and makes them feel connected to the family 
• Reinforces respect for your space and each other
• Builds a strong work ethic
• Improves time management skills

We need to reframe our thinking. Doing chores is being a part of a family, thus children do not get rewards for being a part of a family. Once we reward their work, children are less motivated to continue the chores. This takes time, patience and practice, especially if we are reframing the family thinking. 

 

Becky Morrison is a Nurse Practitioner based out of Calgary who has specialized in mental health for over a decade. She is finally, after years of infertility, a mother of two busy little boys, and doting fur mom of her gentle giant, Stella. She is, and always will be, a strong advocate for mental wellness at all ages.