One of Us! One of Us!
There are likely some expecting parents reading this column because they got into the spiced rum and eggnog over the holidays nine months ago and are now awaiting their first special delivery soon. And I’m not talking about the new iPad Pro being dropped off by the Amazon guy either.
When I was a 20-something Blackberry using dad-to-be back in 2013, there were three things I needed to hear from a more experienced parent. I’m going to share them with you, for the low cost of free-99.
#1 – There is nothing wrong with formula. (I better duck and uninstall all my social media on this one – I know you’re coming for me, people!)
We bought into the catchy rhyme “breast is best” as expecting parents. We had no clue what new babies needed to thrive and we had a newborn who ended up back in the hospital for dehydration because breastmilk took a few days to come in, and the colostrum wasn’t cutting it. Kids number 2 and 3 supplemented with formula and have twenty-five limbs between them and only one speaks Slovakian.
#2 – Touch your baby. They won’t break.
Other than holding her while swaddled up like a football, I was terrified to do anything else involving my firstborn. Although I have hands the size of plates, my dance moves have been described as “antelope being eaten by hyenas.” This made me terrified of breaking my child until my wife showed me that she was basically Gumby. Hands on is great for bonding, and you won’t break them if you help dress them or bathe them.
#3 – Take turns.
Write your current routines down on an imaginary paper and ball it up and swish it into an imaginary recycling bin like LeBron James. Your baby is the captain now. But you’re still going to need things to keep your sanity, like sleep, exercise and some semblance of adult life. You can give bottles, push strollers or drive around and listen to a podcast. Take turns with baby duty so the other parent can rest or practice self-care or talk to another adult in a normal voice.
Jeremy McCall is a married father of 3, a social services case manager, and known as “The Dadfather”, being the founder and Past President of Dad Club London.
