Secret Santa Society
We absolutely LOVE the Christmas holidays and as they approach, there is always a sweet gingerbready buzz in the air! We start talking about gatherings, decorations, presents, and of course, jolly old St. Nick. But this year there’s been a cynical hint of doubt in my 9-year-old’s voice, “Well, IF Santa is real, then I’ll ask him for…”
Like a candy-cane sucker-punch to the gut, I felt the magic of the season fade away like the credits to our mandatory viewing of Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer. How is it possible we’ve reached this point so soon? I was not ready for THE TALK just yet, but the snide remarks kept happening and I was afraid that our 7-year-old would miss out on at least a few more years of Christmas magic.
I guess we are to blame for raising a smart kid who is always exploring and challenging the world around him. We’re always telling our kids to not believe everything they hear or see (especially in the media). We talk about how movies are made, the process of writing fiction novels, and the amazing scientific discoveries that happen during our lives. So it’s no wonder that our son is questioning the ridiculousness of a magical fat man who can travel the world on a sleigh with flying reindeer.
In my frantic search on HOW to break the news, I scoured the internet and asked some friends for advice. I gathered the best tidbits I could find and together, my husband and I introduced our son to the Secret Santa Society. First, we asked him what he thought about Santa. He responded with honest doubt and began questioning all the impossible, magical feats that accompany the lore. We then explained that Santa may have been a real person at some point and that he had a wonderful giving spirit that everyone loved. That spirit has been kept alive through generations and parents often become Santa for their kids. We went on to say that when kids are ready, they are introduced to the ever-elusive Secret Santa Society. Being a part of this club means that he now has been awarded the responsibility of keeping the secret safe by choosing someone and becoming their Santa.
I could hear the quiver in my voice as we talked and I couldn’t help but think we ruined the holiday for him. Our son listened carefully, taking it all in, and was rather quiet at first. I asked him how he felt about it all. He seemed to choose his words wisely and said “Well, I’m kinda relieved that I don’t have to lie anymore. It was bit confusing. And I want to choose my brother to be Santa for. I already know what I’m going to get him – he’s going to love it!”
He wasn’t the only one who felt relief! Despite the initial feeling of dread, I now feel that this brought us a bit closer. We now have a beautiful secret to share and a new tradition to keep alive. Now he can be part of the holiday magic in a different way, a way that makes more sense for him, and a way that can easily evolve into his adult years.
Frank Emanuele is a proud father of two boys, a special education teacher, and a director of Dad Club London.
