Shift Your Focus from Giving Up to Moving On
We feel happy and proud when our kids try new activities, new skills and new ways of doing things. However, if they decide they have done their best and want to move on and do something different, we can feel let down and disappointed. Children want our acceptance, especially when they worry that they may have disappointed us.
If your child does decide to move on to something different, these three strategies will help you move past your own feelings of disappointment:
- Notice the Reasons
Instead of finding out what is really driving their desire to move on, you may find yourself saying things like, “Keep at it. Just work a little harder. Don’t give up now; you have put so much work into it!” Sometimes children are enrolled in an activity or skill that does not match their ability or interest, and in some cases, it’s simply no longer fun or interests have changed and evolved. The reason your child wants to move on is important.
- Shift Your Focus.
If you are feeling frustrated, disappointed, stressed or anxious at the thought that ‘they gave up’, shift your focus to being grateful that they had the courage to tell you how they are truly feeling. It’s important to remember changing course takes courage. Transitioning can be hard on you because you are often blinded by the potential you see in your child, or you could be reflecting back on the missed opportunities of your own past.
- Praise How Far They’ve Come
Even though they have chosen to move on, it’s important to praise your children for how far they have come. Let them know the character traits they used to get there. For example: ‘Well done! I admire how you chose to be determined and brave by giving that activity a try.’ This allows them to see the character traits they possess which they can use to take on their next adventure.
It’s OK to move on to the next project, the next skill, the next relationship, the next adventure. Moving on is something that we have all experienced at one time or another. The key is to remind your kids to ‘Never Give Up on Themselves’.
Until next time…
Sara Westbrook is a professional speaker and creator of UPower Inc, offering keynotes, presentations and workshops on ‘Emotions Change Choices’ to audiences ages 4 -100. She can be found at sarawestbrook.com or on Instagram @iamsarawestbrook.
