The Pressure to Have It All

Does it ever feel like everyone else has it together? Like you are always one step behind? Comparing ourselves to others can sometimes motivate us to grow, but it can also leave us feeling like we are falling short or that we don’t have enough. When we focus too much on what others have, it can contribute to exhaustion and even a sense of disconnection from our own lives. Comparison can make it difficult to notice and appreciate what is already here.

Practicing gratitude is one way to shift our attention back to what surrounds us. As humans, we often become used to what we have and stop feeling appreciative. A stocked pantry can somehow become, “there’s nothing to eat,” or a closet full of clothes can become, “I have nothing to wear.” Try pausing for a moment, sit still, take a deep breath, look around the room and choose one thing you have become used to that someone else might appreciate. Notice what happens in your body, maybe it’s a softening in your face, a release across your shoulders or simply a renewed appreciation for what is already present.

For me, when life feels unfair, I find it helpful to lean into what is going well. I sit on my sofa, take a deep breath, wiggle my fingers and toes and ground myself in the moment. I notice the comfort of the couch beneath me, the ease of my breath and feel thankful for the health that allows me to sit comfortably in my home. Gratitude doesn’t make our problems disappear, but it can create space for stress to ease, perspective to return and to move forward with intention.

Take care.

 

Disclaimer: this information is for educational purposes only and does not constitute psychotherapy or a therapeutic relationship.

 

Jen Wall is a Registered Psychotherapist with Talk With Jen Counselling and Psychotherapy, a virtual practice based in London, Ontario, supporting caregivers and professionals in high-stress roles experiencing burnout and emotional overload. Learn more at TalkWithJen.ca.