When Cupid’s Arrow Sends Divorce Papers
In classical mythology, Cupid is the god of desire, erotic love, attraction and affection. His tradition is rich in poetic themes of “love conquers all” and emphasizes the power of human connection in all of its forms.
Cupid’s arrow tried its best at matchmaking for me, but I ended up with divorce papers instead of a fuzzy pink heart forever-valentine. And yet, his philosophy on unconditional love is what I focus upon as I continue to enhance my experience of the co-parenting lifestyle with these three areas of integration:
- Let go of expectations from your ex. Sharing your (unsolicited) opinions on how they should parent, live or treat you can lead to repeated patterns of discord, agitation or disappointment. When you release all judgement upon their choices in life, you can finally begin to fully live yours. Trust that they will find their way as a parent and individual who is, just as you are, on their own unique path of learning, growing and figuring it all out.
- Prioritize your children’s well-being first. There may be power struggles, unresolved issues or areas of discontent with your ex, however your kids only need ONE parent to be steady, grounded and consistent in order to thrive. When making decisions, speaking about the other parent or at times of interactions, always remember your children are listening, watching and waiting to be lead with love.
- Create boundaries to protect your time, energy and space. If your communication and/or exchanges are still a little hairy at best, that’s okay. What’s important is to determine your set of rules with how to engage with your ex (or not). Let go of the guilt if you need to implement short visits, speak only via text or email, implement no-personal-life-question policies or whatever else you feel you need. Things can always shift, however do what’s best for you now to support your mental and emotional health.
This month, may you take aim and shoot your arrow upon a co-parenting relationship and lifestyle, full of kindness, and letting love conquer all.
Lyndsay Campbell is a co-parenting mother of two boys, a Life Transformation Coach and
Reiki Master.
