When Life Gives you Lemons, and More Lemons…
We have all heard the saying “When life gives you lemons, make lemonade”. But what happens when life gives you so many lemons you drown in them? That was the case for me when I started my journey to be a mother.
My first bunch of lemons came after I was diagnosed “infertile”. We tried unsuccessfully to conceive naturally for a year before we were referred to a fertility clinic. My second bunch of lemons was more like a giant box of lemons. After six years of fertility treatment, I had five miscarriages, one ectopic pregnancy resulting in emergency surgery, and me being still childless.
My third bunch of lemons was more like a dump truck. Before starting IVF, I had a stroke which rendered me unable to read, write, talk or continue my journey to motherhood. I was drowning from the toll of grief, loss and shame I endured because of the stigma surrounding infertility and disability.
After a year-long rehabilitation, I was back in action and doing what I love – paying it forward! I was working again in mental health and running my not-for-profit. Finally I was making some lemonade. I was then cleared for fertility treatment and in 2019 I gave birth to a healthy baby boy via egg donor. This was an insanely happy moment until I almost died giving birth. My doctors told me to never try again. More lemons!
Our family wasn’t complete so we decided to adopt. During the adoption process, my husband had a deadly aortic dissection. Little did I know that night across the world in India my adoptive son was born. Fast forward one-and-a-half years later, and we flew to India and brought him home.
My understanding of the toll stigma and shame can take on a human used to be mostly professional. It wasn’t until I experienced this stigma, and the shame it provokes, that the issue became personal. I chose to start writing children’s books to reduce the stigma and shame associated with thorny topics before they have a chance to take root. Now I want to help you make some lemonade on your journey.
Becky Morrison is a Nurse Practitioner based out of Calgary who has specialized in mental health for over a decade. She is finally, after years of infertility, a mother of two busy little boys, and doting fur mom of her gentle giant, Stella. She is, and always will be, a strong advocate for mental wellness at all ages.
