Act Your Age, Not Your Shoe Size

The older my daughter gets, the more confused I become. Not because she’s changing. That’s expected. It’s because she looks like an adult. A fully formed, almost-adult human standing in my kitchen asking where the ketchup is while making direct eye contact with the ketchup.

Some days, I watch her navigate friendships, sports, school and social situations with more emotional intelligence than many adults I know. Other days, she leaves dirty clothes on the floor and seems surprised they didn’t magically migrate to the laundry room. It’s a wild contradiction.

As parents, we spend years teaching our children how to function in the world. We model responsibility. We encourage initiative. We explain consequences. We repeat ourselves approximately 47 000 times. Then one day they become teenagers, and suddenly you’re expected to remember they aren’t adults, despite evidence to the contrary.

Meanwhile, summer arrives… Which means I become an unpaid Uber driver, social coordinator, sports manager, travel agent, personal shopper, alarm clock and part-time financier of a lifestyle involving expensive snacks. The frustrating part isn’t the work or the money. It’s the expectation.

Because when your kid is nearly a foot taller than you, wears shoes three sizes larger than you, has a job, and understands politics and technology you’re clueless about, it’s easy to assume they should remember their game uniform. Or charge a phone. Or know what time we’re supposed to leave every week.

And then, when my internal monologue starts sounding less than charitable, I do what every parent does after flipping my lid…I flip my seat. I remember that being a teenager is hard. They aren’t adults. They’re practicing. Their brains are still under construction. Their priorities are different. They deal with things we never did, like social media. They’re figuring it out one forgotten cleat at a time. And maybe that’s where the lesson lives.

Because “act your age, not your shoe size” isn’t really advice for teenagers. It’s advice for parents. A reminder that they are acting their age. And maybe our job isn’t to expect them to have it all figured out. Maybe it’s to remember that they’re still figuring it out.

 

Janet Smith is a proud mom of one daughter and a marketing professional who is grateful for her rural roots in the London area. Follow Janet’s funny and honest journey at IG & TT | @re.marketable.janet or FB | @janetsiddallsmith