Apple, Meet Tree
The inevitable has happened. I’ve turned into my mother. For years I did everything in my power to avoid becoming my parents. Then for the next several years, I sarcastically joked about how the generational divide was shrinking before my eyes. Now I realize it’s not such a bad thing and it was unavoidable. And most of all, I am thankful I had my parents – it could’ve been much worse (JK, mom).
As I recall, I only never wanted to be like my parents when I was being nagged, chastised, disciplined or embarrassed (so basically, when they were doing their job.) As a parent, I now know all of that goes with the parenting territory.
Scientists have concluded that no matter how much we try to condition ourselves not to be like our parents, there will inevitably be characteristics, attributes, mannerisms or behaviors that are embedded in our DNA that we are unconsciously aware of and therefore cannot alter. We are a genetic mosaic of generations of our extended family. It is actually programmed into our brains.
Sure, there are some things that I think every parent/child complains about, like chores, bedtime and rules. And I have yet to hear one generation not complain about the next’s music or work ethic. But so many other things have crept in and shapeshifted me into my parents, like engaging complete strangers in conversation everywhere I go. Because of my incessant gabbing, my daughter constantly complains about how long it takes to go grocery shopping. I remember sharing the same sentiment when I was young. Or my loudness…my voice carries and my laugh can be heard above others. I often see my daughter cringe, sometimes embarrassed of my thunderous voice. Yup, I remember feeling that way too.
Looking back, my avoidance of turning into my parents was an unrealistic expectation of myself. These inherited attributes are a rite of passage in parenting. I look forward to tormenting my daughter for the next twenty years, so she can realize how the apple doesn’t fall far from the tree.
Janet Smith is a proud mom of one daughter and a marketing professional who is grateful for her rural roots in the London area. Follow Janet’s funny and honest journey at IG & TT | @re.marketable.janet or FB | @janetsiddallsmith
