Bladder Control: Another Casualty of Motherhood

Let’s talk about something that no one really wants to admit but all middle-aged moms know too well — bladder control, or more accurately, the lack thereof. You know what I mean, those little “oopsy” moments when you sneeze or laugh too hard. And if you’re reading this and thinking “not me”, well bless your heart and superior pelvic floor.

Remember in our 20s when we used to congregate in multiples to the bathroom? When you’re middle-aged that still happens, except it’s more like a ‘lunge for the loo’ to see who can get the only available toilet first. You haven’t seen people scatter that fast since the police showed up at a high school party. We’ve all been there, right? Laughing so hard that you pee a little? Gone are the days when we could jump on a trampoline or do jumping jacks without a new kind of protection—panty liners. And let’s not even talk about sneezing or coughing fits. 

But here’s the thing, ladies: it’s not our fault! The kids did this to us. Years of pregnancy, childbirth, and running around after tiny humans have taken their toll. And let’s not forget hormones. Thanks to the lovely gift of perimenopause, our pelvic floors have raised the white flag. Motherhood — it’s so beautiful in the bathroom, as it seems we spend a lot of the later years either going, avoiding, looking for, waiting for or holding ‘it’ on the way to the bathroom.

Now, don’t get me wrong. I’m not saying we should just throw in the towel (or adult diapers). There are solutions! Kegel exercises, pelvic floor therapy, and yes, even those phallically shaped gadgets that promise to “strengthen your core from the inside out.” (That’s what he said.) So, if you see me out with a suspiciously large handbag, just know I’m packing more than snacks and hand sanitizer. 

Motherhood, the gift that keeps on giving, one sneeze at a time! As for what’s next, well, I hear adult diapers are making great strides in comfort and style.

 

Janet Smith is a proud mom of one daughter and a marketing professional who is grateful for her rural roots in the London area. Follow Janet’s funny and honest journey at IG & TT | @re.marketable.janet or FB | @janetsiddallsmith