FOMO

I have struggled with FOMO as far back as I can remember. It is associated with being bullied and excluded as a child and the desire to be accepted and fit in. 

Fear Of Missing Out (FOMO) is the anxious feeling a person gets when they miss out on fun by not attending a social event because they weren’t invited or couldn’t attend. When experiencing FOMO, a person can experience multiple and simultaneous emotions of inferiority, inadequacy, alienation, isolation and rejection. It triggers unhealthy self-talk and irrational thoughts, which can easily manifest until it becomes overwhelming. It can temporarily impair a person cognitively, emotionally and physically.

Recently my daughter experienced an unexpected case of FOMO. She was sick and missed a milestone hockey game. I did not consider how she would respond when I was passing on a play-by-play from the parents in the stands to her. She ran to her room crying because she was missing out on all the fun and bonding her team was doing. She wished she was with her teammates.

My personal experiences with FOMO helped me empathize with her, but it also made me aware that I never developed any healthy coping strategies to move through FOMO. The frequency of FOMO just faded. Sure, I have the occasional relapse, but my visceral responses are minimal compared to when I was young. So I initially thought I was going to fail miserably at guiding her through this, but then I remembered the skills I’ve learned in other areas of my life that were relevant to this challenge.

We talked about it. I started the conversation by asking simple questions like “what were you looking forward to most?”, “what are you most upset about missing?”, “who is going that you will miss the most?” This may help your child realize that the scope of the problem is not as significant as originally believed. If it reoccurs, try logging the circumstances in a journal to help identify future patterns and coping strategies. And, of course, there are also mindfulness techniques that bring them back into the here and now. This seemed to help my daughter build bridges within to quickly process the disappointment.

 

Janet Smith is a proud mom of one daughter and a marketing professional who is grateful for her rural roots in the London area. Follow Janet’s funny and honest journey at IG & TT | @re.marketable.janet or FB | @janetsiddallsmith