Mistaeks Happenn!
In our house we operate on the philosophy that mistakes are only mistakes if we make the same mistake twice. We believe that mistakes only go bad when you don’t admit to them, apologize for them, or if you repeat them.
Mistakes are a normal part of the learning process at any age, but they are especially important during childhood. Mistakes are the trial-and-error process that children encounter to learn if they should do something again, or how they can improve, all while teaching resilience.
As parents we must be disciplined to allow our kids to make mistakes so they can learn these valuable lessons in preferences, boundaries and accountability. Perhaps this is the most challenging aspect of parenting tweens and teens – letting go.
Up until this point of parenting, we have conditioned ourselves and our children to look to us for guidance first, inserting our opinions, so our children won’t make mistakes. However, it’s necessary to allow our tweens and teens to make mistakes, so they can learn stuff like what characteristics make the best friends or partners. Letting our children crash into these life lessons may be uncomfortable, but I guarantee your child will experience long-term negative effects if you continue to protect your child from mistakes. If you are parenting a tween or teen – butt out – even if you know they are going to get hurt (within reason).
Your role now is to guide them through the lessons that arise from the mistakes, so they are better equipped for life. Parents can help turn these mistakes into a positive experience by showing them mistakes are the building blocks of reaching our goals. We can teach our kids to break down a problem to get to the root cause. Our parenting role now is to show them how to be accountable for their actions and to provide support as they navigate repercussions. As parents we must provide kids with new tools to cope with anxiety or frustration that may result from mistakes.
Now the question is, how do we deliver all this new information without the rolling eyes and deep sighs.
Janet Smith is a proud mom of one daughter and a marketing professional who is grateful for her rural roots in the London area. Follow Janet’s funny and honest journey at IG & TT | @re.marketable.janet or FB | @janetsiddallsmith
