Single Mom Frustrations

Suddenly and to my surprise, ten years ago, I became a single mom. Initially, I was devastated and in shock. It didn’t take long to realize, that my ‘wasband’ had done me a favor. We both were really unhappy and quite dysfunctional together. This wasn’t any way to live and definitely not an environment to raise a happy child.

I was fortunate to have a strong support group with family and friends to guide me through the emotional and financial rollercoaster over the next decade.

Over the next eight years, I rediscovered who I was. A significant part of that persona was being a single mom. Single moms are just regular moms, but they have no one to share the burden of bills, carpooling, parenting decisions, child care, and emotions, while in the moment. I became very proud of being a single mom. The life-changing shift had redefined me. 

I’ve since partnered up with a really great guy. We’ve built a home and life together that is easier for my daughter and I. Even when my partner goes to work (he works away from home for about eight to ten months a year), it’s still significantly easier than being a single mom.

I get very frustrated when I hear attached mothers compare themselves to a single mom. I feel they are minimalizing the struggle that single moms actually encounter, while disrespecting their own gifts. They usually make reference to this because their partner is working long hours, or spending too much time with their friends. I get that these things may be frustrating, but let me tell you, it is nothing like being a single mom. It’s a slap in the face to a single mom when people minimalize their position this way. I bet their husband is available to cover the kids for girls’ night out, discipline the children, give support through trauma and is helping out significantly financially. 

Please stop comparing yourself to single moms, when you are in fact married. It makes you look shallow, disrespectful and self-centred. 

 

Janet Smith is a proud mom of one daughter and a marketing professional who is grateful for her rural roots in the London area. Follow Janet’s funny and honest journey at IG & TT | @re.marketable.janet or FB | @janetsiddallsmith