Single Parent Reality Check
Recently when working on my laptop in an arena lobby while my daughter had hockey practice, I couldn’t help but overhear a conversation that occurred directly behind me between four women. One woman was complaining about how unhappy she was in her marriage and that she was going to leave her husband after her birthday. When another asked what was happening, what had changed, the woman said she was sick and tired of doing all of the housework and parenting on her own while her husband played in his shop (their on-property small business). She then proceeded to discuss how she is essentially a single mom anyways so she might as well leave.
It took all of my effort to not insert myself into this conversation. I was surprised at the lack of awareness of what a single parent encounters, and the ignorant comparison of her very entitled life to that of the struggles of a single parent. I wanted to highlight that despite the rewarding aspects of being a single parent, which include deeper emotional connections with your child(ren), freedom to make decisions independently, and of course the coveted kid-free bi-weekly weekend. The challenges of being a single parent can be monstrous and often not recognized – the initial struggles emotionally and legally, the financial set-back and havoc, the loneliness, the process of rebuilding new homes and routines, the rationalization and normalization with the children, and the co-parenting challenges.
If I had inserted myself into this conversation, I would have highlighted that her life is actually quite charmed compared to a single parent’s. She has financial security from a thriving family-owned business. Although she currently has to do all of the cooking, cleaning and parenting, that would be enhanced when she leaves her husband. She may suddenly find a need to get a full-time job while the children are at school, in order to meet household operating expenses. Not to mention, dodging the perpetual shade thrown by married parents towards single parents.
As proud as I am of my single parenting tenure, I acknowledge that my life is charmed in comparison, when I have a partner to support me physically, emotionally and financially. As a single parent, I wish those married people would take a single parent reality check.
Janet Smith is a proud mom of one daughter and a marketing professional who is grateful for her rural roots in the London area. Follow Janet’s funny and honest journey at IG & TT | @re.marketable.janet or FB | @janetsiddallsmith
