The Need to Ugly Cry

We’ve had a bit of an unusual summer; it seems like a last-ditch effort to squeeze as many memories in as possible. You see, my daughter is moving out at the ripe age of 12 years old to attend a boarding school. Not because she’s a pain in my buttocks, or I don’t have time for her, but because she has dreams. And as much as I want to have my girl home every night to share each other’s day and tuck her safely into her own bed, I can’t hold her back from her dreams. This school will provide opportunities that will carry her through life, and hopefully, she will create lifelong friendships with new people and different perspectives. 

But you know what I’m not going to miss? Her inability to put garbage in the trash. The constant reminders to do her chores. The fighting about prioritizing personal hygiene over a screen. The constant hunt through the bowels of her room for the missing remote (which upends half of the house’s cutlery, eight mismatched socks that I cussed out the laundry machines for, a Tupperware with questionable contents as I have a weak gag reflex, and the piece de resistance – my favourite sneakers which I thought I lost on a drunken girl’s road trip). And least of all, I am not going to miss the rolling eyes, blank stares, hugs, conversations and cuddles. Oh, who am I kidding, I’m going to miss it all! 

I wasn’t prepared for this to happen this early. I thought I had another six years or so before I had to deal with an empty nest. I think I’ve done what I can do to prepare her. But they told me it would be more difficult for me long-term than for her. They say the initial shock is the worst in the first two weeks, so I’ve stacked up my weeks with lots of “activities” that are easy-outs in case I need to ugly cry. 

Janet Smith is a proud mom of one daughter and a marketing professional who is grateful for her rural roots in the London area. Follow Janet’s funny and honest journey at IG & TT | @re.marketable.janet or FB | @janetsiddallsmith